How old were you when you first heard the word “diet?”
I remember sitting in waiting rooms with magazines strewn around on tables. On the covers, skinny women smiled. Big words made big promises, like “Melt Away Your Flab” and “Drop 5 lbs NOW Eating Fries and Mashed Potatoes!”
How about you? Was it the Grapefruit Diet? Snack packs of 100 calories that left you starving an hour later? Aerobics tapes and endless cardio?
If you’re in your 40s or beyond, you’ve probably internalized a lot fo this outdated advice. And here’s the real issue: those old beliefs aren’t just unhelpful anymore, they’re actively holding you back from losing weight.
I see it all the time with my LEAN clients. They come in exhausted, frustrated, and confused, clinging to myths that make them feel like failures. Once we start unlearning these toxic beliefs, though, the results and the relief are incredible.
Here are five of the most common beliefs I help women break free from (and what to replace them with instead).
“1200 calories is the magic number.”
Ever logged your meals into an app and felt that pit in your stomach when it told you “you’ve exceeded your daily goal?” You’re not alone. That number—1200—has been thrown around for decades like it’s a universal truth.
But here’s the reality. 1200 calories isn’t magic. It’s a metabolic disaster.
Your body is smart. It’s designed to survive. When you chronically undereat, your metabolism adapts by slowing down. That means fewer calories burned at rest, lower energy, bad moods, and even weight gain in the long run.
Most women need at least 1600-2000 calories to function well, especially if you’re active or working on building lean muscle. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, your body needs extra nutritional support for hormone balance, bone health, and muscle preservation.
Believe This Instead: Fuel your body, don’t starve it. Focus on nutrient-dense meals with protein, fiber, and healthy fats. You’ll burn more calories by giving your metabolism what it needs to stay fired up. Find out how to calculate your daily macros and calorie intake for best results here.
“Carbs are the enemy.”
Let’s clear up the confusion around carbs. These macronutrients have been demonized more than any other food group. Somewhere along the way, bread became the villain, and suddenly, we started swearing off fruit because it contains sugar.
Here’s the truth. Your body, especially your hormones, needs carbs.
Carbs are your body’s preferred source of energy. They support thyroid function, help regulate cortisol, and are essential for serotonin (your feel-good neurotransmitter). Without enough carbs, you might notice brain fog, poor sleep, mood swings, and stalled progress in the gym.
Yes—in excess, refined carbs and certainly sugar-heavy foods can cause problems. But nutrient-rich carbs like fruit, oats, quinoa, and sweet potatoes give you steady energy, better workouts, and balanced hormones.
Believe This Instead: Carbs are not the enemy. Unbalanced carbs are. Pair your carbs with protein and fat to keep your blood sugar steady, and focus on whole-food sources that give you fiber and nutrients along with energy. Still unsure? Dig deeper into whether you need to cut back on carbs to lose weight.
“Exercise has to be extreme to be effective.”
I’ve heard people say all sorts of things that box them into bad workouts. One client thought that unless she was gasping for breath, her workout “didn’t count.” That mindset left her in a cycle of overdoing cardio and then quitting altogether.
Most of us have been there.
Here’s the truth. You don’t have to be extreme to see results.
In fact, at 40+, extreme exercise often backfires. Long, punishing workouts spike your stress hormone cortisol, which makes fat loss harder. Plus, with kids, work, and a house to take care of, no one’s got time for two-hour gym marathons.
Strength training 3-4 times a week, paired with daily movement like walking, is more than enough to change your body composition. Remember: short, effective workouts done consistently always beat intense sessions done sporadically.
Believe This Instead: Movement should energize you, not drain you. And consistency beats intensity every single time.
“Fasting means skipping meals.”
Intermittent fasting is everywhere today. And while it’s a very helpful tool, it’s often misinterpreted. Too many women hear “fasting” and conclude it means “skip breakfast, survive on coffee, binge at night.”
Here’s the reality. Fasting doesn’t equal skipping meals.
The goal of fasting isn’t starvation. It’s giving your body a clear eating window so your digestion and hormones can work more effectively. During that window, you still need balanced meals and enough calories and macros.
Skipping meals altogether (especially protein-rich ones) leads to blood sugar crashes, muscle loss, and overeating later in the day. It’s the exact opposite of what you want if you’re aiming for fat loss and hormone balance.
Believe This Instead: If you want to try fasting, do it strategically. Choose an eating window that works for your life (like 10 am to 6 pm, for example). Make sure you’re getting enough protein, fiber, and healthy fats at each meal. Fasting is a tool, not a permission slip to undereat.
“Fast weight loss equals lasting success.”
This is the myth we need to drop once and for all. Quick fixes don’t work.
Sure, you can drop 10 pounds in two weeks by slashing your calories. But what happens after that? You feel deprived, your metabolism tanks, and the weight comes back, often with a little extra.
Lasting success comes from building habits you can actually live with. Think: learning how to balance your plate, eating enough protein, finding workouts you enjoy, and managing stress. Slow progress may not be flashy, but it’s the kind that sticks.
Believe This Instead: Lasting success is built on consistency, not extremes. Focus on steady, realistic progress paired with habits you can keep up for years, not just weeks.
Strategy Over Restriction
If any of these toxic beliefs sound familiar, you’re not alone. So many of us were handed outdated advice that set us up for frustration and failure. The good news is that you can unlearn it.
At 40+, weight loss isn’t about punishing your body into submission. It’s about supporting it, eating enough to fuel your metabolism, moving in ways that feel good, and creating habits that fit your real life.
That’s exactly what I teach inside my LEAN Program. We strip away the diet culture noise, get clear on what your body actually needs, and build a sustainable plan that works long-term.
You don’t need another diet. You need a strategy. Once you let go of these toxic beliefs, you’ll finally see the results you’ve been chasing for years.
